The Ironic Mullet :: Lee Ann Westover

The Ironic Mullet on Less than a Shoestring

Thanks to Less than a Shoestring for linking to The Ironic Mullet in the latest Carnival.

Go check it out - this edition treats the Americas and the carious budget-travel options within!

Montreal is for [Vietnamese Food] Lovers

It's clear that the "Travel Doom and Gloom" barometer is reading high these days. Airplane ticket prices are going up, gas prices are crippling commuters and services are disappearing. Although my heart is sinking as another trip to Europe becomes a vanishing dream, this economic downturn is also an opportunity to explore all those places that we take for granted, and may be just a short distance away.

I had lived in New York for almost ten years before I bothered to GoogleMaps Montreal, which turns out to be only about 7 hours from my house (New york City) by car. Now, dear reader, I have a slew of friends in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and I visit them often. In only a little more time than the one-way drive to NC, I can have a round trip to a foreign CITY in a foreign COUNTRY. C'est fantastique, no?

I did a little research for you. I use NYC as home base only because I live here. I encourage you to check out these prices from your own HQ!

:: GETTING THERE ::

Flyin': As of this moment (Noon, June 10th, 2008) for travel dates July 4th-7th, 2008: Airplane tickets to Montreal are running about $421. [Gack!]

Drivin': A rental car from LaGuardia will cost you northwards of $381 before fees. Gas at $4.25 (which it will soon be, tragically) and 25 mph will cost about $130 round trip. I say that if you choose this route, just go whole hog and spring for the convertible. Budget.com has Chrysler Sebrings available for skin cancer enthusiasts at the low low rate of $608.40 (LaGuardia). [Double Gack!]

Trainin': Lastly, Amtrak will take about 11 hours to get there, but the seats lean back nice, there is a pretty view, there is a BAR CAR, and tickets are only $114.30. Hmmmmmm....which option shall we settle on? [Baroo?] Consumerist argues for trains, too

:: GETTING AROUND ::

Bikin': Since we have decided (by elimination) on Amtrak, let me share that you can often bring your bicycle on board. (but not always - check ahead of time!) Fees for checking your bike or racking it run between $5 and $10 each way. Have a bike is by no means essential, but - as always - was integrated into all our favorite activities last time we were in town.

If you don't have a bicycle of your own, Try Velo Montreal. Rental fees for comfy Hybrid Bikes (read: squashy seats for amble bottoms) start at only $25 Canadian per day.

Montreal is criss-crossed with an enormous network of paved bike trails and clearly marked bike lanes. Semi-beginners should have no trouble here. Comprehensive bike maps here.

Training: Like many big cities, Montreal has a subway - clean and fast, but not all-encompassing. course, if you bring your bike, you'll never see it. It does come in handy, though, should you go to the Jean Talon Market (below), eat too much, get sleepy and need a speedy way to get back to the hotel for a nap. We love naps.

Language: Montreal's technically speak French, but with a much different accent than Parisians or Provencals. Muh Man went to France French school for 12 years, has a ton of France French friends, and a nearly France French mom. When he tried to make casual conversation in Montreal, he found that often - though he was understood very clearly - he could not understand half of the reply.

All this to say. If you know some French, the francophone residents will surely appreciate your efforts, but it may prove just as useful to stick to the key phrase: "Est-ce que vous parlez anglais?" (Es-kuh voo parlay ahn-glay?) - "Do you speak English?" If you are a little adventure-pants, though, give it a try. The differences in vocabulary and context are entertaining to figure out.

:: SLEEPING ::

Finding a clean, central room for only a little money ain't the easiest thing in the world. Montreal is a fabulous, continental city, and as a result they know what to charge for the good stuff. For example, the downtown Montreal Econolodge costs upwards of $100 Canadian for a room for 2 for one night. Do some digging, though, and bargains are to be had!

We found the Chateau de L'Argoat after a week or so of searching through guide books and travel websites. (I heart Tripadvisor.com, btw.) The Chateau is housed in a turn-of-the-century mansion on Rue Sherbrook near the metro, Rue St. Laurent and Rue St. Denis - major thoroughfares for nightlife and sightseeing. Most of the rooms in the hotel are $150-$200, but in a small corner near the stairs, they also have a teeny little closet of a chambre for a mere $90 (double occupancy). Econolodge may charge just a little more for a larger room, but the Chateau overflows with personality, and will give you a tastier taste of what Montreal has to offer. Though the staff continually warned us about the small size, we found the room to be perfect for our needs. Amenities include free parking out back, a bike room and FREE BREAKFAST including famous Montreal bagels. In our teensy room, we had a double bed, a big window overlooking the action, a small (yet gorgeously appointed) bathroom featuring an array of handmade, organic cleansers and balms, a TV and enough room to sidle in between it all. Poifect! 524 Rue Sherbrooke Est chateauargoat@videotron.ca www.hotel-chateau-argoat.qc.ca Super gay-friendly.

:: EATING (Vietnamese Food) ::

I grew up in Houston, Tx, where there is a large, fresh Vietnamese population. Vietnamese food is delicious and plentiful as a result. For some unknown reason, despite another slew of Vietnamese residents, the Vietnamese food in NYC generally sucks. As soon as we found out that Montreal Pho is top notch, we began dining at every Vietnamese place that crossed our path.

On something like the first afternoon, we wandered into a Vietnamese restaurant in Chinatown in the hopes of finding a cheap and decent lunch. Our random discovery turned out to be a local favorite and pure happiness in a bowl of broth.

Restaurant Pho Bac 97 was that first stop. The vibe here is no-frills, but you can't beat $6 pho (noodle soup). Long hours and a central location make it a no-brainer. Their beef broth gets 4 our of 5 Ironic Mullets. 1016 St-Laurent Blvd., Chinatown, 514-393-8116, 7 days, 10-10.

You'll find Chu Chai on the schmancy end of the spectrum. Though more pan-Asian than Vietnamese, Chu Chai introduced me to deep-fried spinach. [MYAM] This restaurant is actually two, with a cheaper hot-table buffet on one side, and a sit-down white-tablecloth version on the other. They offer only vegetarian options, if you swing that way! 3 out of 5 Ironic Mullets (a bit on the pricey side) 4088 rue Saint-Denis, 514-843-4194

Pho Viet wins the illustrious ***6 out of 5 Ironic Mullets***. Before you go, hop over to the state-run liquor store for an over-priced bottle of rose or a 6 pack of Boreale Blanche beer (best wheat beer ever in the universe) as Pho Viet is B.Y.O.B. and Cash Only. When we visited, staff consisted of an old dude cooking away in the kitchen, and the spangly, leopard-printed hostess. Her English was limited, but we managed to hammer through some entertaining conversation while slurping second helpings of the best beef noodle soup on on the North American continent. Not just the by-product of a boiling, the soup is delicate, rich and perfumed with intoxicating flavors. After experiencing its wonders, everything else we ate in town became an afterthought. Perhaps just as a friendly gesture, she gave us a complimentary plateful of friend bananas for dessert. Interestingly, given the sparse staff, you may need to get your own menus and buss your own table if you come in at the wrong moment. I'm are weird. I love that kind of stuff. Instead of making us feel ignored, the hostess' overtures - and the meal itself - made the whole situation seem like a relaxed night at a friend's dinner party. 1663 rue Amherst, 514-522-4116, Mon–Fri 11am–3pm & 5–9pm; Sat 5–9pm, closed Sun

For other delicious food bargains, let's continue on to the SIGHTS...

:: SIGHTS ::

As much as Montreal has a North American location and rebellious, Western spirit, much of the city has a flavor that most of us would consider to be European. Downtown in particular is a romantic collection of 19th century (and older) buildings, cobblestone streets and continental public plazas. An entire day could be spend wandering it's old rues, feasting on crepes and ice cream all the while.

The Musee Chateau de Ramezay is located right in the center of it all, and offers a terribly interesting respite from the summer heat or thunder-storm (of which there are many). Inside, you'll find all sorts of artifacts from the area's history, and a resplendent European-style garden outdoors. From the looks of it, fancy people seem to like the attached cafe for wine and snacks. 280, rue Notre-Dame Est 514-861-3708

Aside from these more traditional sightseeing locales, we had the most fun wandering the streets in Montreal's disparate neighborhoods via bicycle (surprised much?). Bike paths run all over the place.

We spend a hot and sweaty afternoon riding to the top of the city's highest point, Mont Royal. The hard ride up is worth it if only for the view and the 20 minute downhill run at the end. There is a snack shop at the top. Save money for ice cream.

As a food-centric traveler, we used the bike paths to travel between the handful of humongous Euro-pean-style covered markets scattered around town. The Lachine Canal bike path is relatively flat, and leads directly to the Marche Atwater.  Marche Atwater is arguably the most posh of all the markets, containing endless booths of artfully displayed meats, veggies and pates. For lunch, we enjoyed the lil' pizza shop on the outer, western edge. 138 Atwater, Tel. 937 7754 Metro Lionel-Groulx

Marche Bonsecours (downtown) is full of of touristy travel shops and a (lame) medieval theme restaurant. As if to make up for it, Marche Jean-Talon  spreads like urban sprawl across Little Italy in the north of town. Off all the markets, this one seems to be the most varied in clientele and service. The interior space is dedicated to what seem to be miles of fruit and veggie vendors, while the outer edges are dedicated to a million fragrant to-go food stalls. Though it's a bit of a trek to get here, it's worth the energy to sit in the midst of this bustling center of city life. 7075 Casgrain Ave, Tel. 277-1379 Metro De Castelnau/Jean-Talon M/W 8-6, Th/Fr 8-8, S 8-6, Sn 8-5

Even more than all the sights that have street addresses associated with them, there is no better treat in Montreal than simply to wander around and soak in all of the cosmopolitan shine, urban excitement and multi-ethnic variety that make up it's unique flavah. After 4 days of giving over to its pleasures, I came home to NYC thinking, If only it didn't get so damn cold in the winter, I would never, ever leave.