The Ironic Mullet :: Lee Ann Westover

Nigerian Scammers: I can haz bank official check

Both my bf and I have to deal with renting things or selling things on CraigsList.org. Despite all the ne'er do wells that frequent its virtual halls, it's still the best way to get anything done.

As such sellers/renters, we receive a lot of email from con-men we call the Nigerian Scammers. Why? Because they probably are Nigerian Scammers. Or European Tourists.

First read this awesome story on Fox News (gasp!) about people turning the tables on Nigerian Scammers. The photos are prosh.

THEN: read my lil compilation here of our personal favorites. When we received this first letter, we decided that Johnson Craigs is the best Nigerian Scammer name ever, and have called all Nigerian Scammers Johnson Craigs ever since. It's nice. Clear. Concise.

FROM: johnson craigs

Hello,seem to be interested in this item but do get back to me with the present condition of this item as am ok with the price tag..ok

Kimberl Jones from United State maybe should consider finishing 2nd grade.

my name is kimberl jones  and am from united state 
but presently in england to vist my family for our 
wedding. A friend of mine told me about 
homeaway,saying i can find a perfect home for my 
honeymoon.and i have read the full details of your 
home on the website ,we will be coming for one 
week in the month of september from 19 to 26 so 
kindly send us the rate thanks.and also am flexible so u can also send me the rate of any available date in september or october 
my address is below
kimberly jones

Then when we asked her "oh REALLY?!?!" she sent a nice reply. How helpful of her! Note the "from" address. DOWDLES.org. Srsly? I do love bank official checks, though.

> From: kjones@dowdles.org
> 
> Hello, Thanks for getting back to us with the 
> quote,I will book it, I will make payment with my 
> bank official check. I and my wife concluded to 
> make full payment, so we can have confirmation of 
> booking. Send me the below info.
> 
> Full name.
> Address (Not PO Box)
> City
> Zipcode
> State
> Home phone
> Cell phone.
> 
> Immediately i have the above info, I will mail the 
> payment to you. Afterwards you can send me the 
> confirmation letter,
> Thanks.

Anything else Kimberl? Social security, Driver's license? Pint of blood?
Dowdles.

Things that I like: Dior. Almost as good as enchiladas.

I just wanted to share one of my favorite things evar with you. In my real like, I pretty much have a uniform of the BurdaStyle Anda dress or jeans, but in my dreams I wear things like this.

Check out more at JEZEBEL. It's Redonk.

You thought you had had enough of SLAP CHOP. You haven't.

VIA CONSUMERIST

BEEP BEEP BOOOOoeeeewwwww

Obamamama! Watch out for Cows.

News of the day:

#1) NEW PRESIDENT! YAY!!!!

#2) Cow knocks over woman on bike, steps on her legs

Happy New Year!

I have a couple of prezzies for you to celebrate 2009.

Do you like to feel bad about the world and spend each day paranoid that there is a nation-wide conspiracy against you and yours? Try Jesus Camp!

Would you rather think about buying a pied-a-terre in Paris and finding solace in true (if not perfect) love? 2 Days in Paris!

Like both? Definitely do Jesus Camp first.

Both available at Netflix's Watch Instantly.

Incidentally, the "Watch Instantly" function works on Mac now, if you hadn't heard.

The economic sh**storm can be your style opportunity!

This morning, I am seriously jealous of anyone who has a Wal-mart in his or her neighborhood. I have never felt this way before. In fact, I always felt a bit smug and superior because I don't have any Wal-marts in my city at all. BUT, NOW I KNOW that every Wal-mart has a big section in back full of craft and sewing supplies, so I hereby announce that - for that reason only - Wal-mart kind of rocks.

A few weeks ago, you may remember that I started sewing again after a 15 year absence from the craft. I started small, with a green taffeta evening gown. How lucky that it turned out well!!! It's now my favorite performing costume. (It has more than once been referred to as a "boob shelf." Also has been reported to "serve them up well")

Today, surfing around in the blog-o-sphere, I came across BurdaStyle.com, and almost crapped my pants from happiness. Burda-style hosts forums, online sewing lessons, how-to slideshows and

...wait for it...

FREE DOWNLOADABLE PRINT-AT-HOME PATTERNS FOR REALLY CUTE STUFF!

Here's what I have been fantasizing about today:

The Anda Dress:
About as easy as easy gets, two big rectangles and a belt, but how stylish!?

The Danielle Dress:
Looks like it may "serve them up well" too. A bit more complicated, but would be annnnerrrable with a turtleneck and boots

The Almost Pollini Dress:
So mod and raddddddd. I feel like I could make it in orange and meet you in Ten-Forward for cosmos.

If you have never sewn before, BurdaStyle.com looks like a nice place to start shopping for skills.

Other hip-ish patterns can be found in Simplicity's New Look line (that's what I am shopping for this evening) and McCall's website. You'll have to cull a bit through the fanny packs and elastic-waisted capri pants, but it's worth it when you find cute stuff like this! ---->

Well if that Wal-mart eludes you, or you are looking for something fancier than lightweight denim, I have also (with the help of my crafty girl-friend Merideth) found a few outlets for fabric shopping online. I like to think of myself as being in the Joan Holloway style-school, so you may notice a bit of retro flavah.

This TonicLiving.com lil-ice-skaters fabric will upholster every single surface in my imaginary little girl's room this winter

While I am decorating, I shall wear a dress made of this ReproDepot.com birdy fabric

Super mod and trendy PurlPatchwork.com actually has a real live store here in NYC! I had to promise myself never to enter while I have my credit card on my person.

Don't let our dwindling stock values keep you from being as sexxxy as you can be. You can make an evening dress out of the curtains if you need to. Many a diva has done just that in a pinch! ;)

All I want for Xmas is...well...a lot. Buying guide for Lee Ann and Others.

Evidently, in an effort to jump start consumer spending for a sure-to-be dismal holiday retail season, big box retailers are pulling out the decorations early. Just today I saw a small Xmas display at the underground Duane Reade at 49th and 6th Avenues. Midtown's Jam Paper and Envelope (office supply porn ground zero) has all pink items on sale %50 off today. Target had as many Xmas trees as pumpkins this weekend.

All this red-n-green has inspired some pre-holiday fantasy shopping from me today. I've picked out several wonderful items for myself and others. Order early to avoid the stress later!!

Kenny plays air-drums nonstop. I think he should kick it up a notch with ThinkGeek.com's drum pad t-shirt! It really makes noise! [ThinkGeek.com]

Amy Sedaris' book "I Like You" was one of my faves from last year! I gave, I got. It's hilarious reading, but the cheese ball recipes are wonderful to boot! [FredFlare.com]

Merideth gave me a "Draft Dodger" for my birthday in May - I can't wait to wear it! They are super soft alpaca, and she hand knits them up in Peekskill. [Etsy.com]

If you buy me this USB Keyboard, I will write and record a song JUST FOR YOU. (quality not guaranteed) [MusiciansFriend.com]

ROLLER SKATES WITH PINKKK WHEEELLLSSSS. Perfect for every 8 to 37 year old in your life. [FredFlare.com]

I've burnt up all my spatulas. Will you please get me this? [FredFlare.com]

Carey got one of these for her Birthday. I still haven't gotten to taste anything baked in it. Maybe I need to make my own! [BakersEdge.com]

This is great for all your old ladies. Mine all got it a couple of years ago. [Amazon.com]

Any teenagers, hipsters or repressed music-loving professionals in your life? Get them SANTOGOLD's CD. I loooooooove her. She's a little Missy Elliot, a little Kaiser Chiefs and so much in between. Have a listen and then BUY. [Amazon.com] [Santogold's Myspace]

More to come!

Ugly Overload! Ugly is the new beautiful.

When I am on vacation, I spend most of my camera's memory on macro shots of bugs, flowers and patterns in stone. Even the nastiest bug is fascinating when seen very verrrrry close.

Well have you seen the story on CBS Sunday morning this week - that Ugly is the new pretty? No one knows that better than Justin of Ugly Overload - one of my FAVORITE blogs.

The site's tagline reads:

Giving ugly animals their day in the sun. We avoid the simply tragic, diseased, or maimed. Rather, these creatures are only as hideous as nature - or their owners - intended.

...So you'll be spared the puppy snuff videos, but you get to enjoy the celebration of Nature's nasty/horriffic/slimy side, as I do...heartilty.

Ugly Overload MADE MY DAY TODAY when they/he/it posted some of my bug photos from this summer!

I believe you are now looking a black slug (Arion ater) in the face. Also known as the black menace, this slug is an unwelcome addition to any lawn or garden. Their nasty-tasting slime is a deterrent to most would-be hunters, but some animals still hunt them (can you really hunt a slug? at least, with any pride in calling it hunting?). Just keep some hedgehogs or badgers in your garden, and voila, no slugs. But then you're stuck with pesky hedgehogs and badgers.

Read the post in its entirety - and see more nasty beautifulness - here:
http://uglyoverload.blogspot.com/2008/10/of-slug-and-bug-eyes.html

Twitter!

I signed up for Twitter!

http://twitter.com/leeannwestover

Home and blogging on Tuesday!

xoxo
Lee Ann