The Ironic Mullet :: Lee Ann Westover

Fat Wife: BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Via Jezebel

Netflix for the New Year

There isn't a whole lot to do between Christmas and New Years, so like most people I spent a good amount of time napping and wishing away my holiday chub. To aid me in my endeavor, I tend to do a lot of movie watching. This year I started in the theater, moved to Netflix and then to TBS - my old friend channel 63.

Go to the theater:
SWEENY TODD - THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET
Dir. Tim Burton

Is it me or has there been not-so-much hype about this movie? I mean, before it came out there was a lot, but I only know one person who saw it - besides myself.

Sooo, there were many wonderings floating around about whether Johnny Depp would be able to pull off the demanding music while rocking his Edward Scissorhands hair. Some thought it to be a travesty that Depp and Helena Bonham Carter were cast instead of "real" singers. Now folks, I AM a real singer, and I think that it was a very good decision in the end. Thanks to a hefty dose of Pro-Tools, both of them sound wonderful - not in a shrieking, Brooklyn-the-musical kind of way, but in a macabre, intimate kind of way. Thanks to the ample acting skills of them both, songs that needed to carry to a theater's back rows now seamlessly stem from the dialog as if breaking into song is a perfectly natural thing to do while making the worst pies in London.

Fleshing out Depp's and Bonham-Carter's mad skilz, Tim Burton's signature style finds it's perfect match in this grisly 19th century London. Though not technically shot in black and white, the only other color you'll notice is blood red, as it spatters gleefully from throats into the air and across Depp's grim countenance.

Put it on your Netflix Queue:
BLACK BOOK
Dir. Paul Verhoeven

I count myself among the Paul Verhoeven superfans. I'll see just about anything he cares to make, from the spectacularly horrendous Showgirls, to the futuristic punch-fest Total Recall. I have long had a theory that Verhoeven is actually an excellent director who makes playful B movies on purpose. There is no way on EARTH that anyone could come up with the waterfall sex scene in Showgirls thinking he created a beautiful intimate moment, or that he could ask an actor to dig in someone's slimy brain cavity without taking real enjoyment in what makes a theater-goer squeam in his seat and yell. Black Book is evidence that I am absolutely correct. He sets aside opportunistic ass-shots and most of the gore in what many consider his master work.

Black Book tells the story of Jewish woman in hiding during the last days of WW2. Her cover in a sleepy little farmhouse is blown, and circumstance leads her into a double life as chanteuse Ellis de Vries, spy for the resistance in a Nazi HQ. I don't want to give too much away, so I'll let you discover all the plot twists and surprises on your own. In short, it's a suspenseful, beautiful, hardly-ever cheesy* treatment of wartime in which few people are good or evil, but shades of all colors in between.

*He just HAD to throw in a couple of quality boob shots, not to mention just a little spurting blood! God bless ya' Paul. You've got standards to maintain.

They'll even have it at Blockbuster, but I saw it on TBS:
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
God bless ya' Nia Vardalos!

Remember this movie? There was so much shock and awe surrounding it's release! I forgot how great it is. Did you?

Nia Vardalos plays Tula, an ambitious American woman in conflict with her overbearing, love-you-hard, ultra-traditional Greek family. Dreamboat John Corbett plays the man she falls in love with and decides to marry. The guy with the WASPY FAMILY she decides to marry. The VEGETARIAN guy with the WASPY FAMILY she decides to marry.

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don't eat no meat?
[the entire room stops, in shock]
Aunt Voula: Oh, that's okay. I make lamb.

Consider it required viewing. Snacks optional.

There's a Party in my Tummy